


This is for You

by umlupin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 10:50:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7312048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/umlupin/pseuds/umlupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your mum's taking a nap, Harry. She's very tired and we can't wake her, okay? How about I tell you a story until she comes back. Will that calm you down? Okay then.</p><p>Where should I begin? The start I suppose. Okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is for You

Your mum's taking a nap, Harry. She's very tired and we can't wake her, okay? How about I tell you a story until she comes back. Will that calm you down? Okay then.

Where should I begin? The start I suppose. Okay.

The first time I ever saw your mother was at Kings Cross station. She was standing with her family, hard to miss, really. The first, of many, I admit, dirty looks she ever gave me was when I ran backwards into her sister. You'll probably meet her though for your sake I hope your visits are few and far between. Don't tell your mother I said that. After that first meeting, our relationship, or lack of thereof, was a little rocky to say the least.

It was the same day that I met Sirius and Remus and Peter. Sirius and I had had an argument over who got the window seat, and Remus pointed out that there were, in fact, two, and we should sit opposite each other. Sirius then dramatically declared that he couldn't possibly sit backwards or he would be sick. Moony raised an eyebrow in a way that you will learn only Moony can do, and told him that if he threw up over him, he would drag him out by his ridiculously frilly dress robes and lock him in in his own trunk. Sirius found this hilariously funny instead of offensive, and then the introductions began. You could say, perhaps, that it was the beginning of everything. 

Peter joined us later in the evening, gaining our respect through his extensive chocolate frog collection. And so it began.

Are you liking this so far, Harry? I forgot to mention, though this might be somewhat dark for your little ears, that we were living during the war. It was just the beginning, and we were sheltered at Hogwarts. So much so that the outside world seemed completely separate to the one we were living in. Lets leave that subject alone for a little while though, shall we?

We discovered that Moony was a werewolf in second year. We thought it was pretty cool until we visited him after the full moon, and that was the first time I had ever seen Sirius cry. You'll learn, Harry, that Sirius doesn't cry. I hope you never have to see any of your friends in half the pain Remus was in. Werewolves aren't accepted in society, yet another thing about the world you will learn, but you'll know uncle Moony, and you'll know that he is gentle and kind and the most brilliant person you'll ever meet. You're lucky to have him, we all are.

Things got better for Remus after that, he was more accepting of not only himself, but of our friendship. He learned to not hide his scars so determinedly, and didn't have to lie about his whereabouts every month. Sirius, however, was unhappy. You won't understand this now, but his parents aren't like us. The don't love Sirius like we love you. You are lucky, Harry. You've been promised love from the moment you were born. Others, namely Sirius were not so lucky. Sometimes they hit him, and they made him feel all kinds of unhappy. You do not hurt the people you love, Harry. Padfoot, your godfather, I suppose I should call him, was sad for a very long time. Even now, the sadness has never really gone away. Another thing you'll learn, I think. Merlin, there's a lot for you to learn. Sirius loves you, you know that. So much.  My point is, despite his shitty upbringing, don't tell your mother I said that or she'll think I've corrupted you already. My point is, Sirius knows how to love, and he loves you and me and Lily and Remus and Peter more than life itself.

That got awfully deep, didn't it, but I promised you a story. I'm going to talk about a different kind of love now. The kind where you wake up the stars are aligned and you realize why artists are artists. I'm starting to sound awfully like Sirius with all these metaphors and poetry. Even though I won't admit it, I love the way he talks. I love the way he can put things into words so easily. But back on the subject of love. I'm talking about Lily, your mother. I had been a complete and utter twat my entire existence up until some time during fifth year. I don't really like to talk about that a lot because I'm not proud of the way I acted, and if ever you end up liking a girl, under no circumstance follow in my footsteps. Don't let the fact that I'm with her now fool you. I am a completely different person compared to my fifteen year old self. I'd have to be, or else she wouldn't have married me. 

The day I realized that I was in love with your mother was the day Sirius was disowned. I won't go more into the circumstances. Sirius will tell you when he is comfortable, and when you are old enough to understand. She was there for him then, even though they had never been friendly before. She understood him in a way I couldn't. Don't get me wrong, her parents are lovely people as you will come to know, but her sister, who I talked about earlier, is not. Don't be sad though, Harry, you have enough love without her to last you a lifetime.

So far, the story hasn't really had much of a structure, but since I am narrating my autobiography off the top of my head to a one year old, I hope you can forgive me. It's fifth year, Sirius has been disowned and he's living with me and your grandparents. It is after this that Sirius, Peter and I finally crack this whole animagus thing for Remus. Now, you can't tell anyone this, Harry, it's an absolute secret and your dad would get into a lot of trouble if people find out. Werewolves aren't interested in animals, only humans see. So every full moon from thereon-after, the four of us spent together as animals, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. Even now, we never miss a full moon. This is another kind of love. We risked prison, still do, for Remus, because we love him. I'm excited for you to learn about love. Love is everything, love is what makes us human. Don't get all big-eyed at me like that. I know it's cliche, but it is true.

Let's go back to the war. By sixth year, more and more people are dying. I won't go into much detail because you don't know about dying yet, and honestly, it's too horrible for even me to handle, let alone a tiny little baby like you. For now, you can remain peacefully ignorant to the horrors of this world. That was awfully morbid, don't tell your mother. At this point, we are only teenagers, and I can't count on all my fingers and all of my toes the number of people who aren't living any longer. That doesn't sound any better. But we are teenagers and we are invincible like all teenagers are. Except we are not. We are tainted in a way I hope you will never be because we are prepared to or even expect to wake up one morning and find out someone we love is dead. 

I can't explain why there is a war. It not all that complicated really but I hope to shield you from it for as long as possible. One day you'll understand. Truthfully, the world can be a very ugly place, but it can also be a very beautiful one. That's why you're here. Are you paying attention? I know the curtains are very interesting but this is important. You are so loved. The love we have for you is eclipsing, overwhelming and I pray everyday to whatever god there might be that you never have to question that. Can I tell you something? Of course I can, you're a baby and not capable of expressing any real opinion. It is funny really, how much love you can hold for something so small. Here it is: there are times when you feel that the world is so horribly unfair, and there are times when you feel so terrified that it will make everyone around you feel so unimaginably far away. But let me tell you a secret. Even Gryffindors are afraid. Without fear you cannot be brave. That's the real secret.

You're eyes are closing now and the story's almost over. There's one more thing I have to say. Right now, we are fighting a war that feels hopeless. Hopeless if it were not for you. Remember, Harry, that we are all right here by your side. Me, your mother and all your uncles. You should know: this is for you. We're all in it for you, and it is a promise we are sworn to. Now you're asleep, and you can't hear be but we are at your side, all of us, until the very end. Goodnight, Harry.


End file.
